


two steps at a time

by eminencic



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fix-It, M/M, Slow Burn, Spoilers, True Ending, Unreliable Narrator, good ending, massive spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eminencic/pseuds/eminencic
Summary: When Sunny returned, after four years of silence, it almost felt like a punch in the gut to Basil.If Sunny could suddenly stop running and come forward as quickly as he had those past few days, Basil felt he could stop waiting around and run towards him so they could meet in the middle.
Relationships: Basil/Sunny (OMORI)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 248





	two steps at a time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I was a little anxious to post this because I rewrote it so many times, but I finally decided to give in and finally just toss it out there. I’ll provide some explanations at the end.
> 
> And remember, all the trigger warnings from the game apply here too. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Basil stood in front of a large, imposing door to the room of a patient that he was all too familiar with. He’d just woken up the day before, and had been released on the same day, as Polly was more than fit to take care of his bruises and damages according to the doctors, being a nurse herself and up to the task.

Fiddling with his crutch a bit, he reached for the door handle before he stopped, feeling a little bit timid as his mind interrupted him, racing with all that could go wrong and what he might say.

When he first awoke, the first person he saw was Sunny, his best friend, smiling warmly as tears of relief ran from his good eye down his cheek. He was silent, as usual, but the way the corners of his mouth seemed to stand up on their own carelessly, and the visibly relaxed wave of his shoulders as he quietly chuckled to Basil’s ramblings indicated that it was okay, everything was going to be alright. When he was asked about his eye, he simply shrugged it off and said it was an accident and carried on with the light conversation, seemingly of consideration for Basil’s state, confused and with a painful headache. He could faintly remember the hard pang in his chest whenever he saw the bandage on Sunny's eye, a stark reminder of something his mind just couldn't recall fully yet.

Of course, Basil knew it was no simple accident. His memories of that night had been foggy at best, and Sunny wasn’t much help either, so he followed his gut and made his way to make it up to him. Even if he didn’t remember much, he had the faintest feeling that it was his fault, and that Sunny tried to stop him from doing what he had been thinking of for four years. He was grateful now, of course, as he was feeling the gentle rays of sunlight wrapping around his fingers like a soft warm blanket where they gripped the handle of the door, but he also felt a little humiliated, exposed, and vulnerable.

And now, standing in front of the door, it seemed kind of silly, as he fidgeted with the white tulips he had brought with him along with a backpack full of books and some of Sunny’s belongings that he got ahold of from his mother, who dropped by and left in the same hurry she came in, busy with unpacking all on her own while working her fulltime job. It was maybe kind of out of place to just drop by randomly to his (old?) best friend in the hospital with a smile after he nearly did or didn’t take his eyesight on one eye. The guilt sat like a knife in his gut, but he knew the only way to dislodge it was to make amends and talk it through, for once. If Sunny could suddenly stop running and come forward as quickly as he had those past few days, Basil felt he could stop waiting around and run towards him so they could meet in the middle.

He just hoped it was still okay. Even if he was met with a smile when he woke up, a voice in the back of his head told him it was all imagined, that he probably hated him more than before, and coming was a waste of time.

They hadn’t really spoken of anything serious, and even though their conversation from yesterday was a bit blurry, as Basil recalled he was more than likely completely gone on painkillers and sedatives, and knowing Sunny, he was probably too polite to comment on it. It was long overdue for them to sit down and talk, but it was still unnerving to actually step in and just… do it. The setting, too, was all wrong, too uncomfortable, with cold walls, cold ceilings, and the beeps of machines and hushed whispers of staff who were running around frantically.

During four years, they never talked, until suddenly, Sunny was in the middle of a park, with Kel in front loud and cheery as always. It came like a punch to the gut as it became abundantly clear that they had so, so much to talk about once their eyes met, and so little to say when they were face to face. After all, Sunny was always mostly quiet, and that would be okay, if not for the fact that his silence had been deafening and a wound that after four years suddenly felt like it was getting infected since he came back, quiet and a little more shy, looking to the side like a scared child at first, but slowly opening back up and seeming to always be there for him in the nick of time, no matter how much it burdened him. Basil, riddled with anxiety bursting through his chest whenever he saw his friend’s face in the dark, in the same glow and angle he'd seen it that horrible night, he would push him away fearing whatever it was he saw in the dark, his mind racing and playing tricks on him as it spilled out of his mouth and scared Sunny, who was still determined to help and fix whatever was wrong. And, he faintly remembers, even when he was thrashing, his paranoia taking hold of him, keeping Sunny far away so he could no longer get hurt, Sunny stayed there, persisting, trying to calm down, focusing on saving him. It almost felt cruel, the way he had disappeared for four years, only to return so suddenly, with such determination and care, just when Basil thought he had grown distant from the pain that only returned tenfold.

But even so, he still saw him as his best friend, despite his complicated feelings. His best friend, who gave him anxiety every time they met, not because of any outward cruelty, but because of what they saw together, and how much he reminds him of that. As it turns out, time did not heal their wounds when they separated for years. For Basil, it felt as if it was getting bigger. As much as he dreads looking into Sunny’s eyes and seeing the gloom that seemed to permanently reside in those black orbs, even when they hid behind a shy smile, he also relished their happy memories together, and felt the same joy spark within him somewhere deep down when Sunny showed the faintest hint of a smile, or gave Kel a high-five as if everything was normal again. When his fears got the better of him, it was just as quickly pushed down by the rush he felt when Sunny turned towards him, shy and gentle, but finally acknowledging him, as if they could finally start walking together.

And because of that, there he was, fidgeting nervously in front of a hospital door, ready to make amends, but also not ready to face his friend, who by all accounts should not want to see him after what he did, but would probably not mind anyway, knowing him, not mind, just because he was so meek and gentle, too kind for his own good, and because of their long shared history keeping them together like stubborn magnets whenever they drifted. He'd probably be forgiven because Sunny was never confrontational, never held a grudge either, Basil muses, even when he was getting picked on in school, he just silently took it, never raising his voice, and never trying to stand out. Whenever they came home together and Basil asked if he was okay, he’d just smile and nod, and then begin to ask about his plants, letting the conversation be overtaken by Basil as he listened, calm and comforting. Whenever he felt like a burden, it was always that warm and gentle hand on his shoulder that was enough to reassure him, bringing him back down to earth and letting him know it was okay. Even despite whatever he went through, he seemed to take it tall and patient, never raising any concern for his well-being, no matter how much Basil showed he was there if he needed it.

Looking back, he misses Sunny, so bad. And it was with this rush of nostalgia that he pushed open the door, immediately relieved to see Sunny perk up and smile, warm and welcoming as he gave a small wave with his hand, sending away most of Basil’s anxieties as he smiled back.

“Hi, Sunny!” Basil started, “I hope you’re doing alright. If you don’t mind, I’ve brought some books we can read. You can keep them here if you want, since you might be bored. Oh! Your mom also gave me some stuff to drop off for you.”

He clumsily slid off the strap of the back pack and rummaged through it, reaching out for a smaller pouch within that contained a few basic toiletries, and a loose string bag with a spare change of clothes. He laid it on the nightstand with his crutch before sitting down on the armchair beside the bed, shrugging off his coat and shifting the chair closer to the bed. He noted the wires attached to Sunny’s body this time, noting how he must’ve pulled them out against doctor’s orders to see him yesterday. The thought slightly flattered him, but he felt more guilty that he might’ve prolonged Sunny’s stay at the hospital, even if it was indirectly.  
He put the tulips on the nightstand carefully, letting them lay on their back and noting to himself he would have to go get some water for them later, silently wishing for them to hang in there while he let himself enjoy his time with Sunny, just for a little bit, while he still had it, and the warmth from yesterday still radiated and kicked back any anxiety that caught in his throat.

“I hope you don’t mind I’m here. I just, um, wanted to see you.” Sunny beamed and shook his head, seeming to communicate it was alright. Basil continued. “I also brought a deck of cards. I’ll leave it here too, in case the books are boring. Sorry, I know it’s not much for entertainment.”

Sunny nodded, looking expectantly at the blonde boy, who felt a little nervous under the silent gaze. He was a little bit giddy on the inside, to his slight embarrassment, because sitting like this, alone, and talking casually was… nice. It reminded him of old times, when he’d just comfortably sit and talk on and on and Sunny would smile and put in very few words to comment, just to let him know he was still listening, and it would always be the highlight of his day as his chest seemed to burst every time their knees brushed and Sunny smiled. Now, though, it seemed to burst for different reasons, slightly more painful ones, as he tried desperately to keep his darker thoughts at bay, not wanting to stress out a patient who had already suffered so much mentally. It was also just a bit awkward talking alone, he just wasn't used to it quite yet like he once was.

“I thought you might like this book, it’s on dream interpretation. I used to read it a year ago, I think, but I’ve since stopped because it was just really for fun, and, um, to wake up in the mornings. I would write down everything I could every morning so I could stay motivated to get up, but, eventually it just felt like I was writing the same stuff, so… I quit, haha.” He stopped, treading a bit dangerously close to talking about something... unnecessary, while rambling. “But anyway, for some reason I thought of you when I saw it again, and who knows, it might be fun for you to read! Oh! You can probably take notes on your phone, if you want.”

Sunny nodded, slowly, seeming to stiffen up at the mention of dream interpretation, but nonetheless he picked the book up with sparked interest, muttering a thank you as he put it to the side for later.

He pointed to the resting crutch, “Are you alright?”

Basil felt his cheeks warm slightly, a bit flustered. “I’m alright, thanks. My ankle is a bit sprained, so I need a crutch to support properly on that foot. My ribs were slightly bruised as well, so it also helps me stand up straight without straining them too hard.”

Sunny looked down, a bit mournful. “Sorry.” Basil waved his hands, never one to concern his friends, “No, it’s alright, actually… um, thank you. For being there that night, I mean, not for spraining my ankle.”

Sunny nodded, still a bit hesitant as his face drew back in a stoic expression, not betraying any of his thoughts as he took a deep breath before speaking.

“About yesterday… I told them what happened.”

“Huh?” Basil froze. His voice giving out on him, the previous bittersweet mood shattered, replaced with an overwhelming sense of dread.  
His mind raced, picking apart Sunny’s words for any interpretation that didn’t result in Aubrey, Kel and Hero knowing what happened four years ago, what they did, what they couldn’t take back-

“They need time to think, but... I think it’s going to be okay.”

Basil’s shoulders loosened a little, but the hard beating in his chest still rang in his ears as cold sweat gathered on his forehead while his brain crunched for any way out. Out of habit or out of concern, Basil couldn’t tell, his thoughts raced to pick up on ways to possibly protect Sunny in this, to avoid incriminating him, trying desperately to salvage the hard work he’d put in to make sure Sunny wouldn’t get doubted, even if the favor wasn’t returned with a simple hello - not that it mattered now, not at all, they were together now, weren’t they? But even still-

Sunny, putting his hand on Basil’s, quietly muttered. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for not telling them sooner.” His eyes half-lidded, he looked down with a frown now planted on his face, his brows clenched together.

“But- but Sunny, it’s okay, they don’t need to know. I know you didn’t mean to do it, I know you couldn’t, you’d never.” Of course, he knew. Anyone could end life, luck didn't have favorites. But even so, he still wasn't done fighting. He'd fought for so many years, what's a few more, if they both wanted to? Even if it was selfish, and cruel to their friends, they could carry on knowing the truth, while keeping it locked away.

His hands trembling, Basil reached out to grasp Sunny’s hand that had settled meekly ontop of his, holding tight, whether to comfort himself or Sunny, he didn’t quite know, as he continued, a bit more hesitant to continue to say the words he felt were rehearsed at this point, a bit more hollow now after they both knew it was a lie.

“I’m… I’m sure of it, okay? So, let me just talk to them, I’ll tell them the painkillers made you hallucinate things, and-”

“Basil,” Sunny’s voice rang out, more stern than he’s used to, sending a frightened shiver into Basil’s spine as he continued, “I’m sure, okay? We can stop this. It’s okay. Let me do this. For Mari.”

His throat clenched tight, Basil looked down at their joined hands, letting go a little, afraid to be holding on too tightly, hurting him more than he already felt he had.

He knew Sunny, he really did. But Sunny wouldn’t push someone like that. The same Sunny who would only use his hands to hold tight around his sister when he was tired couldn’t possibly have betrayed her and sent her down the stairs. It was just not… possible. Or so, he’d thought for so many years to himself.

Of course, part of him was scared to fully digest the truth. Of course, accidents were not murder, but… He still felt that blood did not suit Sunny’s pale hands, which were always soft, yet calloused on the tips where they tightly clenched the bow for the violin. Hands which would feel warm in the winter whenever they went on adventures through the forest should never hang a corpse in it. He desperately needed it to be something else, but… well, obviously, it couldn’t be. He always knew that deep down underneath all the paranoia, but he never wanted to know. He never wanted his best friend to know that he knew, no matter how silly that notion seemed, because the last thing he wanted was for Sunny to feel like he saw him as a criminal. In Basil’s eyes, he still wasn’t. Even as he helped carry down Mari, looking into Sunny’s fearful gaze with a look of horror of his own while his own blood circulation was loud and deafening, he couldn’t believe it was him.

But, looking back, of course there was no other way. He’d made peace with that fact when they met again after the fight, even if he was out of his mind on sedatives, he remembered that much clearly, and still held onto it. But even so, he wasn’t sure he felt ready to let the others know, even though his heart had already accepted the fact, it wasn’t ready to hand it out just yet. He still felt like he had his feet in two realities, one he made up to protect his best friend, and one that he was abandoned in, four years ago, which suddenly came crashing back the past few days.

His racing mind suddenly jerked to when he nearly drowned. Aubrey, though she had been cold and mean in the past years, would never resort to intentional murder, and her anguish as she cried out for Basil, reminded him all too suddenly of how so little could spark so much damage, as Sunny dove in after him in vain, unable to swim as they sank together. He’d been ready to die, yet he couldn’t blame Aubrey, instead wishing she would at least be able to get the support they never did. He was silently ready to die at the time, already making peace with the fact as Sunny's eyes clenched shut, reaching desperately for wherever Basil was in the water. Even as he silently noted Sunny's fear of drowning, suddenly a reality as they would sink and have their lives cut so short in so little time, at the time he only hoped Aubrey would be okay, and that Kel wouldn't blame himself, and Hero could become a brilliant doctor regardless.

He forgave her, and the thought gave him a hope that perhaps, they would forgive them too.

He hoped the others felt the same, that they could see it was nothing but a freak accident.

“Okay, if you say so.” Basil sighed, giving in. He couldn’t very well deny his friend his wishes. If he wanted to bring closure to their friends, then who was he to take it away? That would be too selfish of him. He already felt selfish for what he’s done so far, doing whatever he can to cover his best friend’s tracks, never wanting to see him hurt, and hurting him in doing so along with all their friends. He remembered how when they were younger, whenever Sunny was hurt, it felt like he was getting hurt too, no matter how silly the notion seems to him now, the feeling is still faintly there, as a pang in his chest reminds him that they’re in a dangerous, and very delicate situation.

But, they were kids. Just 12.

He thought back again to what Aubrey almost did, and how it would look if she was just four years younger, and… It hurt. The pain she would go through at that age, the pain he knew all too well, he knew it would rob her teenage years away, as it did his. And that was just way too cruel for an accident.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t know they were kids or didn’t realize it, he just never saw it that way when he looked back. He spent so much time blaming himself and feeling guilty for Sunny that he forgot they weren’t even capable of going out alone to the store, much less of intentional murder and conspiracy. They were just scared.

Sunny seemed to snap him out of his train of thought, clenching his hands a bit where they were locked, and looked at Basil with concern painted in his features.

Despite everything, they could still sit like this, interlocked at the hands that carried the lifeless body of their dear friend, and they could still find comfort and warmth in them. If not for Sunny’s odd determination those past few days, Basil might never have found it in him to look back on the truth, and he might never be sitting here, feeling his hands being wrapped in a kind squeeze that brought his anxieties away, just a little, and he let himself be optimistic for a change. 

Basil sighed, giving in. If this was possible, he could hope everything was possible, with a little determination, and small, careful steps towards helping each other finally live so their friend's hearts could rest.

“I’m sorry, it’s not my place to deny you that, is it?” Biting his lip, he continued. “There’s not much that we can do other than… Hope for the best, I guess.”

Sunny nodded, “Thank you. I know they’ll forgive you.” smiling and letting the silence fill the room as he looked at Basil, not caring to hide his relief.

He would not be able to feel any less guilty, or nervous until he heard from them again, but waiting was all he could do, so Basil sighed, trying to squeeze a small smile of his own to accompany Sunny’s, betraying his inner anxiety and turmoil he kept at bay to the best of his ability. He would probably feel the guilt haunt him forever, even if he forgave himself and Sunny, but right now, they did not need to go further into the subject, where ears might listen outside.

They sat in quiet for a while, simply tracing each other’s knuckles as they let their emotions simmer down, not quite comfortable having such a sensitive conversation just yet.

Changing the subject, Sunny finally spoke up again after a long pause. “How did Polly react? Yesterday, I mean.”

“Ah, she was, uh. A little freaked out, to say the least. Honestly… I feel bad for burdening her so much. She’s been worried sick all day, checking me multiple times through the day. In the end, I had to sneak out to come here, hehe.” Sunny chuckled a bit, and Basil continued, easily getting back into his habit of rambling once prompted. “She’s sweet, but… I don’t know. I’m not good with strangers… Even if it’s been two years, the feeling that she just, you know, settled in one day out of legal obligation is not very comforting. As hard as she tries to act like family, I can’t find it in me to welcome her as such, but I won’t tell her or show her that, of course… Is that selfish?” Sunny shook his head, no. “I just worry sometimes, that all I am is an extra burden to her. It's hard to feel like you matter to someone who's paid to care for you...”

Sunny frowned, “I think you’re important to her, too. She seems sweet.”

Basil chuckled, “Maybe. I’m just not good at seeing those things myself. Still, I’m grateful to her, for trying so hard.”

Biting his lip, Sunny hesitated a bit, before asking the question he was very obviously trying to hold back, curiosity getting the better of him, “What about your parents?”

He was obviously uncertain as he asked, careful to step on any boundaries, but at this point, Basil felt there was no reason to keep any secrets, so he replied, somewhat bitterly. “They’re busy, of course, as always.” Looking away, he continued, “I’m sure their work is really important, but…” Basil sighed, fiddling a bit with Sunny’s hand, squeezing the knuckles gently as he spoke to calm his nerves. Keeping the topic light was difficult, so he continued regardless.

“When they were told I had to go to therapy, they still couldn’t find time to come home, just enough time to sign the papers digitally before wishing me well and going silent again.” Biting his lip, he couldn’t help the resentment that he felt. He always, always believes in people’s good intentions, but… There was just no excuse good enough for them, at this point, as he shut his eyes closed to calm himself down, not wanting to cause a scene in front of Sunny after he almost just set out to not make one.

“I’m sorry. It must be hard.”

Looking up, he didn’t expect Sunny so openly expressive, face painted with concern as he clutched Basil’s fidgeting hands, gently trying to bring comfort.

“I guess… It is, hahah.” He looked away, laughing in place of crying, not wanting to bring the mood too far down while Sunny was still a recovering patient. Being comforted by the more hurt one of them just felt too selfish, to Basil.

Sunny squeezed his hand a bit harder, interrupting his thoughts and bringing him to look at him again,

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

And in that moment, Basil could’ve sworn he’d never seen the youngest look so sad, so mournful, for his sake, and the feeling overwhelmed him a little as he felt the knot that tightened in his stomach upon the sight. This wasn't just about the past few days, he could tell. He felt it in his heart, a small thorn that was pricking, reminding him of the loneliness he carried slowly getting covered by a warm feeling so tender it hurt after so long, after getting so used to the cold. As much as the feeling overwhelmed him, it was outweighed by the shame of being comforted when he came here to bring comfor to his friend, even if his approach was a little awkward, and still not quite used to it just yet.

“No, it’s, um. It’s okay, I think. I was… Really messed up about it for a while, but, I mean, it all worked out, see? And you had your own battles, so… I mean, it’s completely understandable. And I mean, now you can start over, so, I’m really, really… Excited for you. I promise.”

Sunny shook his head, reaching forward as best as he could, pulling Basil down by the collar before wrapping his arms gently around his shoulders,

“I’m sorry.”

Basil, overwhelmed, bit back the tears, feeling his heart seem to shatter when the bandages on Sunny’s ear brushed against his own ear. Even though his apology brought some relief and warmth, he couldn’t accept it in his heart without a guilty conscience as he thought of how lucky Sunny would be if he would get to use that eye again, the one he nearly took away, should it manage to heal underneath the bandages. No matter how many times Sunny said sorry, Basil would never feel less guilty as he held onto the patient, clutching his shoulders and silently counting all the bandages and plasters that his fingers could trace under the thin t-shirt Sunny sat in, his heart beating out of its cage as the emotions seemed to bathe him, despite any promises he’d previously made to himself to not overexert himself or his friend, his best friend. But if he could forgive him, he could learn to forgive himself, just a little. For once, he would try to ignore the pain, as he finally let himself enjoy the warm palms on his back, that only just barely brushed over his skin without applying pressure, speaking more than whatever words were caught in his throat.

As it turned out, it’s awfully hard not to talk about your shared traumatic experience when you’re finally in the same room, alone, and comfortable. But on the bright side, warm sunsets are perfect for bringing a resolution to years of pain, and contrary to what he thought before walking in, they didn’t need that many words to finally come to an agreement.

“I’m sorry, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> The absolute irony that I was stuck multiple times on writing Basil’s anxiety properly because of my own anxiety lololol
> 
> I was really struggling to write their dialogue, eventually settling on referencing my own experiences and letting it stay messy for the sake of some realism, (I hope)
> 
> An armchair in a hospital room is really, really weird. I felt the same way when writing this, but in the cutscene it can be seen in the background, so maybe it's just not something I'm used to.
> 
> I’m hoping to write more chapters if people enjoy this, so leave a kudos and a comment if you did!
> 
> Thanks for reading


End file.
